Two New Birds, One Old Stone Original writing by Robert Lilly
Undoubtedly, most have heard the old adage: “Kill two birds with one stone.” For our purposes we will replace the birds with two women and the stone will represent a troubled, hurt and hardened heart transformed through the Love of Christ Jesus. John 14:1 “Let not your hearts be troubled. Believe in God; believe also in Me. In my Father’s house are many rooms.”
“When we identify ‘respect’ (coming from a root word meaning ‘to look at’) as one of the dimensions of love, then it becomes clear that looking at ourselves and others means seeing the depths of who we are. Looking into the depths, we often come face-to-face with emotional trauma and woundedness” – from Salvation: Black People and Love by Bell Hooks.
Most men are blessed to have one mother who loves them. I have been fortunate to have two beautiful ladies I called Momma, Darcel Green and Dorthy Tucker-Lilly.
The former gave me birth and life, the latter gave me a two-parent home and a chance at living life. Both loved me as only they knew how to give it. The two of them are deceased, and I believe with the Lord. They were two “saved sinners”.
My estimation of these two very important women has improved over the years. Very recently, yet again, the attitude I had formed in my youth came into view and was found wanting. I am here to say that we can form opinions in our youth that emotionally hobble us as adults.
It seems safe for me to say that all too often we impose a thin veneer of perfection over the very rough portraits of our parents. No human being is perfect. (Romans 3:9-10)
Both of my mothers were jagged around the edges. I chose to overlook the glaring faults of one and to over-exaggerate the flaws of the other. In both instances I was in error.
My distortions of the truth caused me to suffer great emotional pain. This pain, I can no longer accept as part and parcel of life. How I look back alters how I view ‘right now” and envision the future.
Apart from God’s loving – kindness we are all prone to error. My best-along-is nothing! What The Christ did on the cross is everything. Apostle Paul writes concerning this theme of man’s corrupt nature in (Ephesians 2:1-2) “And you were dead in the trespasses and sins in which you once walked, following the course of this world…”
No one is exempt, with the exception of the “God-Man” Jesus, The Christ. “But God being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ-by grace you have been saved.” (Ephesians 2:4-5) ESV
The two most important women in my life were unquestionably equal – regardless of my childhood experiences and the meanings I attributed to them.
As I lay upon my bunk, here in prison and count my numerous blessings, I can now add two more to the large number already tallied. Both women wanted the best for me – in their own imperfect ways. Moreover, they loved Jesus and hoped I would come to love Him too.
In light of this awareness, at this moment, on this day, at this very hour, I am choosing to free them.
I am letting them go from my false expectations and unfair, “stoney” condemnations. I am going to take comfort in the thought that their souls are with our heavenly father.
Imagine, if you will, two women who knew not one another, and departed this world some 30 years apart; they are in heaven discussing their relationship to me. Perhaps they are laughing and swapping stories about all of my childhood antics as a troubled youth.
All I know is that one day I am going to see them both again. I want to kiss them and hug them. I am going to sincerely tell them how very grateful to the Lord I am for His entrusting my life to them. I want to declare my new found love for them.
No one is perfect. Just because we impose a title of honor upon someone does not mean they can match our ideal.
Loving parent is a wonderful ideal, but only God is the Perfect One.
Nevertheless, their imperfections perfectly directed me, by the grace of God to repent and to ask for forgiveness. I am dropping my stone – dear mothers. I pray you both rest in peace eternally. I will see you one day. Love Robert – your son – both.